I hate royal events. They clog up the telly schedules with mindless drivel and displays of obsequiousness. When the engagement was announced, the BBC was beside itself with joy. It pushed all the other news events off the schedules to make room for interviews with the happy couple and assorted royal watchers were wheeled in to offer their expert opinions. How many ways can someone tell us they’re “happy” about the news?
The country is facing the biggest public spending cuts in a generation. The Tory-led government is waging a class war against those at the bottom of the income scale.
Over at the Torygraph, Peter Oborne gushes,
All marriages are joyful occasions, but at the same time made hideously complex by a multitude of social and financial considerations. The marriage of Prince William and Kate Middleton is just the same, only much worse because it is weighed down by so many burdens of state.
Bless ’em. They’re weighed down by the burdens of state while many of us are burdened with the rising cost of living. It’s a tough old life. Oborne continues,
This arrangement has profound advantages for Britain as a nation, because the Royal family occupies a vital part of our public space, which in other countries can be commandeered by politicians, sometimes with malign intent. In its purest form, the monarchy represents what all of us have in common. It is above party, faction and race.
In other words, it’s a timely distraction. It’s a good time to bury bad news. I’m sure the Whitehall mandarins were well aware of this when the news was announced.
Staying with the Telegraph, Ed West paints the royal engagement as “torture for lefties”, which sort of ignores those Labour voters who are royal sympathizers. He says,
I have never had much interest in the British Royal Family and the soap opera surrounding them, and people who obsessively follow their lives seem quite odd. The whole Diana cult left me cold, especially so the climatic orgy of self-pity following her death.
So why the headline, Ed? Won’t this feel like “torture” for you too?
Neither do I have any particular interest in the Royals’ aristocratic lifestyle, which seems to involve hanging around too many potentially dangerous animals and the smell of dog poo. If people want to spend their weekends standing in the cold shooting dumb animals, good for them and I won’t vote to ban it, but I’d rather not have to read about them.
Okay, so I still don’t understand where this is going.
It’s already started at the Guardian, with lots of carping about the cost of the wedding (which as an argument is a non-starter, since it will almost certainly boost the economy) and about the endless grovelling towards the aristocracy. Over the next few months we’ll see the urban middle class (of which I am a member) doing what they love best – class hatred, both towards those above them and those below, whose patriotism they especially despise.
Ah, I see, The Guardian, that supposed hang-out for lefty liberal types. This is the paper that supported the Lib Dems at the last election by the way.
He ends with this classic bit of redbating,
King Edgar’s descendants still reign over us, and you know what really annoys the Lefties? They still will, long after all the Left’s current totems – the EU, multiculturalism, the Equalities Act, anti-racism, hate crimes, bastardised human rights, Marx, Marxist feminism, Marcuse and Gramsci – have all been thrown into the dustbin of history, where they belong.
Yeah, equality sucks. Let’s big up racism! Hate crimes too. But what the fuck is “bastardised human rights” when it’s at home? You have to wonder what’s going through this man’s head. In fact, I wonder if he has ever read Gramsci or Marcuse or even Marx. I don’t think he has. I’ll bet he’s read Hayek though. They all have.
Janet Daley in a rare moment of lucidity had this to say,
Don’t get me wrong: I do not begrudge the nation this moment of happy relief from the tensions of the moment. But this was ridiculous – and even irresponsible. So I would really like to know: am I completely out of tune with the rest of the country on this? Was anyone else angry about the complete absence of any real news at such a grave time in our economic history? Did the BBC receive any complaints about its non-stop, repetitive coverage of an event that may cheer the population for a moment but will scarcely affect their real lives? Just curious.
You can forgive her. She’s a Yank. They don’t understand these things.
Again, in The Telegraph, the Honourable Tobes offers the Royals advice on how to be bourgeois, giving them tips on ‘etiquette’.
The announcement of the royal engagement has also sent the tat industry into overdrive. Check out this Daily Hate article.
With yesterday’s exciting announcement that Prince William and Kate Middleton are getting married next summer,Domino’s Pizza is offering some lucky couples the chance to share in their joy with a free garlic pizza bread in store.
Couples named William and Kate are being invited to come into their local Domino’s store to pick up a free garlic pizza bread to celebrate the Royals’ engagement. To be eligible for the offer, each couple with the names “William and Kate” must both produce a valid form of photographic identification and be present at the store when collecting the order.
Georgina Wald, corporate communications manager from Domino’s said: “The marriage of Prince William to Kate Middleton will be a national celebration and Domino’s is delighted to be offering couples out there a chance to join in the excitement surrounding the announcement.”
The mouth watering Domino’s Garlic Pizza Bread is 6” pizza bread topped with 100% mozzarella cheese together with Domino’s very own tomato sauce and is perfect choice for couples looking to share a tasty treat.
Couples can drop in to their local Domino’s store today (17th November) or tomorrow Thursday 18th November to pick up this fantastic free offer.* To find your nearest participating store, please visit www. dominos.co.uk
*Terms and conditions apply.
Across the Atlantic, The Wall Street Journal’s thoughts are occupied with the wedding dress.
Christmas came early for the fashion industry this year. Le tout le monde was a-Twitter over the splashy news that Prince William had proposed to his longtime girlfriend, Kate Middleton. Along with the accolades, came the dress speculation: Who will Kate choose? Will she pick a non-British designer? Will she go with a giant puff of a dress like the famous one worn by Princess Diana in 1981?
More likely, Middleton, a woman of understated elegance, will opt for something refined. Tabloid photos reveal a young woman with classic, even preppy taste, who doesn’t wear garish makeup or too-short skirts. At the press conference announcing the news, Middleton wore a flattering slim-cut navy dress by London label ISSA; the blue dress matched the sapphire engagement ring, which was originally Princess Diana’s engagement ring.
The fashion industry. Who can forget them? Fashion is without doubt the least politically engaged of all the art forms. When did you last see fashion students on a rally or a march? I’ve never seen placards on demos that said “Fashion students against the bomb” or anything like it.
I would say that I’ll leave the country for the wedding but chances are it will follow me wherever I go. I went to Germany when Charles and Di married but the damned wedding followed me there. No surprise really. The royal family are German after all. I should have spotted that one really.